It has been a while since I wrote a blog. It isn't that I had nothing to talk about. It is that I have had too much to talk about. That is the conundrum for a writer who blogs and writes about life. So, instead of writing, I simply shared inspirational pictures and messages on my Instagram (link), Twitter (link) and my Inspiration with Sean Puffy Brown page on Facebook (link). It is always rewarding watching people react to my messages which fills my need to interact and connect with other positive people. It has been easy to stay away from writing anything in-depth like I do for my blogs, but now I am here because of a nagging thought I have had bouncing around the good ole noggin. That is why we are here and why you are reading my ramblings (which I thank you for taking time to do so). A couple questions have been lingering for a spell:
Who are you when no one is looking?
Who are you when nothing is going right?
Who are you when there are no facades?
Who are you when you feel taken for granted?
Who are you when you feel used?
Who are you when you have a chance to get ahead?
As I think of those questions I thought about my recent trip to the Raiders vs Seahawks game here in Washington State. The picture you see is me fully repping my Raider (LA boy) pride. As I, my wife, my biz partner, and one of my wife's co-workers made our way to the game, I got to talk smack to the Seahawks fans as they talked smack to me, and I got to whoop-whoop with fellow Raiders fans. On that day the guy in the picture was who I was which is a contrast to my dance fitness guy I don on a daily basis. Even now, I look at this picture. It is me, and it is not me. This is the thing about those questions: what is the "real" answer to the questions?
I am me. I am both cold- and warm-hearted. I am both forgiving and unforgiving. I am honest and deceitful. I am complicated and simple. I am me. This is the thing about being "me": I have to understand who and what that means, not only to myself but to the world. Who does the world see when I am not looking? Who do they see when I am? I am me. But I am not just me in others' eyes. I am me in the darkest of times and the brightest of times in my own place.
But that isn't what it's all about now, is it? It is about how you emerge from the depths of the darkness, the struggle and the lowest of lows. That's the thing those previously mentioned questions really were intended to reveal. Who am I? More importantly, who are you?
Many of us find ourselves in various states of interaction with the world. We fall back to our comfort zone in most cases. We fall back to the "I am" when push comes to shove. I ask myself if I was honest with me as I climbed the steps back up to the light, or did I do things, say things or not do/say things that I, inside, can be proud of when I look in the mirror? That is the trick of life, isn't it? We are always climbing and adjusting to the way life is and the way life hands us its "lessons." This brings me back to the point of this blog which is being true to yourself.
There are very few things that we can control in life. We can't control the weather. We can't control other people's actions and reactions to the world. We can't control death. We can't control life. We can't control why the Raiders can't seem to get over the dang hump or how the Patriacheats get away with cheating so much. Yes, I hate them. We can't control that either. Sport hate aside, the only thing we can control is how we react and act to what the world brings to us. Yes, we can control ourselves. Asking the question of who you are is getting to understand that the core of you is always the same no matter what is going on around you. To illustrate this I want to show two variations of the same picture.
When we are happy, "on", in the zone and the like, we are vibrant and full of color. There are things that radiate from us and things that catch your eye. It is us, in all of our glory.