Updated: Mar 23, 2018
Every morning my eyes open somewhere around 6 am no matter what time I went to bed or when my alarm may have been set. I usually reach over and pick up my phone to say good morning to some of my close day-to-day friends. I say hello in some various form to my friends Beckie, April, Kelly and Holly the last two being out of my state. As my friends chime in at their own pace I get to moving. If I see the sky (Sunrise) may be great I'll toss on some clothes and walk down my neighborhood to snap pictures of the sunrise or I'll jump in the truck to, as I call it, "Chase the sun" by the water in Manchester or down Banner Road. Around 6:30 I'll hear from the last lady I talk to each and every day my wife who tells me she has made it to work. The wife and I text each other until she has to run off to a meeting or two or I have to go teach. My other friends I hear from throughout the day. I'll talk to other people too. Some of those convos will be casual conversations and some deep, I'll dance in my fitness class, i'll yell in my boot camp class (if its a day I do that) and I'll make a few people smile or laugh. This is my day in and day out. Oh, I should clear up and say I do eventually get all cleaned up properly before I start my day. Stank breath and body isn't really socially acceptable in my world. OK, back on topic. Why am I telling you about my daily happenings? Because this mornings message from the wife was different. She said (without giving it all. Some is private you know)
I makes it barely! Muah.
Gnarly car accident... with large police response... They had to make a path for me.
(a little later) It was a fatality hit and run ped (for pedestrian)
As I sat down at my dinning room table to start typing away on the social media I looked out the window. I always look out the window. We have a bird feeder that is always active. Like any other day I looked, watched the birds, listened to the rain and typed away. Again, it is my normal routine to life. Today, I sat and thought about a body lying in the road no more than half a mile away from where I am sitting. A body! It isn't even really light out and someone's world has just ended. It isn't a body it's a person. Someone will not see tomorrow.
While I'm typing this blog my wife text me that she heard it was a lady helping someone who ran out of gas. At this point, the story changes as facts get released we all know but for now this is what I have been told, she was being a good person and helping someone. Wow, do nice things we say. It hits home to me since I did the same thing for a young kid around 11pm one dark and rainy night. It was just above freezing and this kid broke down on a dark road and couldn't get anyone to help. A pedestrian saw him sleep in his car and checked on him. He waved me down as I was cruising the dark and busy road. I stopped to help. I was out, in dark clothes cause that is what I had on, on a rainy wet night. This lady could of been me. Again, Wow! Here I sit not far from someone whose tomorrow will not come. It made me think of a series of pictures and post I did many moons ago.
This is me working at my desk, also known as my dinning room table, during the winter of 2016. Everyday I am in this position at some point and time. Every morning I hunker down to either work or simply kill time in this chair, with this laptop, got a new water bottle and the piano behind me is pretty much covered in stuff now too. My wife growls and grumbles that I've turned her dinning room table into my very own personal desk. Especially since I have an office upstairs. That is the funny thing about life though we take for granted these things. This is me today. This is me right now typing away at this blog. Every day at some point this is probably me.
It is also you. Not literally of course. You have those things that you do all the time. The little things that the people around you know is you. It could be your shoes always in the same place or the way you burst into a room when you get home. Whatever it is, the people who know you right now can see it because it is your today. The lady who was killed today had that too. She had a spot, a way of doing things, people she spoke to and shared with or even if she was a loner someone somewhere was use to seeing her. But tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow will be completely different. No, tomorrow will be the same but she will not be with any of us.
See what happens when the person is gone? The next morning everything is the same. Everything is the way it was just like in this picture. Yes, I'm gone but there is my laptop waiting for me to type away. There is my water bottle waiting for me to quench my thirst. There are my books waiting to be opened. And in this pic even those stupid balls waiting to hit me in the head. It is all there but one thing is missing. Me! My friends would wake up at 6 am and wonder where the text was. My wife would wait for a reply that won't come through. Yet, life as it was will remain the same. There it is in a picture everything but me.
The lady who helped someone today will not be in her picture. Tomorrow did not come for her. She made me remember the pictures I took. The thoughts that went through my head as I snapped the set of three. So far I showed you two. First, life as normal I am there tapping away at life in general. Then life as normal without me. The last one is the deepest. It is the one I thought of when I read my wife's text. It is the one where I forgot about tomorrow.
Life will move on without us! It has to. One day my laptop will be gone, my water bottle too. My books and my everyday will be someone else's space. After awhile the very essence of my presence will no longer linger in this room. It may very well be redecorated at some point. I will have been nothing more than a whisper in a room that once held me captive for hours upon hours doing what I love to do sharing the world with people.
(Since this is a blog you won't know if it is written straight or in breaks. In this case, the last paragraph I stopped about 2 hours ago so I could run errands. Now, I am back in my chair to finish this blog.)
When I sat down to finish another friend chimed in on messenger saying how horrible her day has been so far and it's "only Monday!" After a few barbs back about it actually being Thursday my friend said she was, "Trying to fix my stinking thinking." Now, this isn't an attack on my friend cause we have all had rough starts to our weeks but considering my thought process for today I responded with,
Well... I know you don't read my blogs but the one I am typing now is talking about the woman who stopped to help someone who ran out of gas at O'Dark-Thirty this morning and got hit and killed. I'm pretty sure she would love to have a shitty day where she is getting paid. Good or bad is totes up to you. Yes, I said totes. Be negative and you will always find it (and it will find you).
The simple truth about life is that it isn't promised. We spend too much time hating the gift we have and not enough time enjoying it. This unknown lady who helped a stranger will not see tomorrow. We are not promised it. One day we will, in fact, forget about tomorrow. Shouldn't we make today the best? I would wager she had plans for the weekend and things she was excited to get done. Again, shouldn't we make today the best?
I'll leave with one last picture that came to mind as I write this blog. Stop! Stop hating yourself. Stop stressing over small crap that won't matter when it is all said and done. Stop worrying if you look at certain way or if people like you or don't like you. Stop looking down at the ground when life is in front of you. Stop being a victim to whatever you have told yourself is holding you back. Stop taking those who stand with you authentically for granted. Stop and see that the person in the mirror is the most important person you will ever know because he/she is the only person you will spend your ENTIRE life with so STOP the self-hate. Life is short and we owe it to ourselves to enjoy it because one stop could be the last. My thoughts are with the family of the woman who will not see tomorrow. May she be at peace. May her family find peace.
And now I stop!