I have confession to make, I had no intention of sitting down this morning and writing a blog. Nope, not one single desire. Six days ago I wrote, Playing God blog that has been really popular especially with my Twitter people. Today, which is Wednesday, is my late day when I can sleep in (8 AM whoop whoop) and take my time for the day. Unless the wife has some task, I don't have to even begin to be an adult until after 11 AM. In other words, it is rare to want to do much on my Wednesday mornings, yet here you are reading my words again. So, what happened to get my finger-tapping on this morning? Simply put, my view from my bed. Walk with me for a bit and let me take you on a journey into my mind.
This morning after my initial wake up and grooming, I decided it was a good idea to go back bed and relax a little more. The sun had come up from the front of my house and I resisted the urge to put on some clothes and go and watch sunrise. However, if the sun is coming up from the front of my house then it is slowly starting to light the trees in the back of my house. I love the view of my backyard, so I opened one of the curtains and slipped back into bed. This decision is why I am blogging right now.
This is the view from my bed. I love it. This morning a different feeling came over me while I stared out the window while chatting with friends on social media. Sadness. Wait, what? Yes, sadness kind of flushed over me. If you deal with energy you might say it's an empathetic feeling. What do I mean? It wasn't my sadness but it was very real, very strong, very deep and, yes, very sad. As the heaviness of my view sunk in I realized what it was that I was feeling while looking at the gorgeous sky. I was feeling that it was out of reach. At the time I didn't know what "it" was but, as usual, I know if I sit with the feeling it will become clear to me. It, if you will, was outside or the ability to go there and enjoy the very thing I am staring at which is the world. As the revelation of why I was feeling sadness while looking at something that brings me joy hits me, I know I need to share it with whomever will read my words. After all, it was important enough to take away my usual simple enjoyment of my backyard, so I better do it.
The feeling I had was about people who couldn't get out of their house, hospital room or some other limited space. I pictured someone laying in a bed just like mine seeing the beautiful sky but not feeling the warmth of the sun on their skin. Not being able to look up and see the birds fly overhead of even an airplane and wonder where it is headed. I pictured someone with an illness, be it physical or mental, that prevents them from simply getting up and walking out into the world. It made me wonder what those people would be thinking as the outside world continues to move around them and they are only partially, or not at all, a part of it. As I think of this the sadness begins to lift off of me and I am brought back to my normal state of appreciating what I have, what I do, what I share with the world, and what it shares with me.
I think about yesterday when I chased the sunrise and the sunset all over my little town. This picture was one of them. I sat and listened to the waves and the birds, and took pictures of the amazing Mount Rainier over 100 miles away from where I am standing. If I were to turn to my left I'd see Seattle which is an hour ferry ride away. I can zoom in and see the Space Needle as clear as day. I get to enjoy this. I could have done it this morning, but I chose not to. Instead, I laid back in bed and watched the world from my window.
It's an interesting thing that we take for granted, choice. See, I have the choice to embrace the world as I get to see it. Today, I can go out and hike, canoe, water, sit, lay on a hammock under my tree, have coffee with a friend, drive along the coast, or go back to bed until I have to "adult" for the day. One day though that might not be the case. One day I may be stuck in that bed hoping my wife, a friend, or caregiver will be kind enough to open the shades for me so I can see out into a world I can't be a part of any longer. Hmmm, what a thought. We don't think about the times we can no longer do this or that because we, for better or worse, feel like we will be able to do it again tomorrow. That is the beauty and the curse of being human, isn't it? We have hope in tomorrow, and we take for granted today.
As I am writing thi,s another picture pops in my head. It is a sign stapled (I guess) to a pole on one of the main roads of my city. As I drove down the street I saw the sign and had to snap a picture of it. It made me think about life, who and why the sign was made and what it meant to me.
"I LOVE AND MISS U ALL"
Now this sign could be taken in many ways. It is both loving and sad depending on how you interpret it. This morning it brings me back to the sadness of not being able to be a part of life. Not being able to feel the sun on my skin or the chill of the rain as it soaks my clothes. It makes me think of the friends I once shared every waking moment with that I now don't share a single moment I am awake with. It makes me think about a cousin I barely talked to once I went off to the military that died in a car crash at the age of 19. I was 6 months older than he was and now 25 plus years later I think I couldn't speak to him again. The interesting part about this is that I have friends, family and the likes that I can talk to, I can spend time with and can enjoy, but I don't for various reasons, I suppose. It brings me to this question, why does it matter when we "can't" but not when we "can" do it? You can't see it but even now I had to pause with that question because it goes to the whole point of this feeling I got this morning. The revelation of this morning's "lesson" is that I can do it. That is the point isn't it? I can get up.
I can get out.
I can engage.
I can appreciate what I have.
I can spread joy.
I can embrace my moments.
Every morning, no matter if you can see it or not, the sun rises. Every day we have a chance to embrace life as it presents itself to us. Every day we can do something we may no longer be able to do by the end of it. Every day we can limit ourselves by our thoughts and action or be unlimited by the joy we find. If we are lucky we will never have to live in a time where the window is the only way to see the world. However, if that day comes should we have a lot of memories stored up in our minds from the times we did see the world? I leave with this picture:
On my deathbed, if I only have one thing I can remember, may it be that I lived a life worth living. Get up, get out, get involved and embrace the simple beauty of life. What we do with the time we have, the abilities we have and the gifts we have is 100% up to us. Now, I am going to get dressed and go and enjoy this beautiful Washington day. What will you do?
Don't wait until life is out of reach to wish you had lived more.